#casual dva

[a-bluedream-posts]

Dva's Call by Kittew

[marcelline]

Hello ppl! 🌸🌸🌸

[mspaintbrush]

Lucio thoughts

Sleeps in a hammock (he needs this weight of sinking into the cloth and the whole thing still moving slightly)

Topless with baggy comfy pants, hair cap to protect braids

Morning routine: wake up, clean face, moisturize skin and hair, trim beard, put hair up, go into kitchen, brew coffee (black, pure, raw energy - Overwatch coffee isnt as strong as the brazilian coffee he is used to, so as a treat he gets some imported), lil bit of breadrolls/toast with butter

Dog person, spoiling Murphy

Still gets along fine with cats though, Mitzi likes to chill in his room (Mitzi lives at the base in my head because yes)

Owns several pairs of heelies

If he doesnt wear skates he wears heelies

Would put rolls on patent shoes to wear with a suit

Skates in the halls and gets flamed by Phara for it (continues to do it, nothing will stop the rio drift)

Would be great at skateboarding but never actually tried it even though its on his bucket list (Genji was a skateboard kid for sure, he would definitely love to teach him)

Can play guitar and ukulele

Strumming a little tune helps him calm down and keep his fingers and head occupied

Regularily carries both his instruments around the base and forgets where they are (lore behind the guitar in helicarrier spawn)

Baggy comfy clothes for the win, comfort over style

Used to casually wear a lot of sports team shirts and still does

Gets cold quickly (brazil curse) so often wearing more layers than others (bro is already complaining at around 25°C/77°F)

Saw snow for the first time in his life just one year ago and still gets all bubbly and excited when Mei tells him its going to be snowing during a mission/at the base

Desperately needs social contact and feels anxiously lonely very quickly

Charges up by being around people and just enjoying their company, even if everyone is kinda doing their own thing

Often hangs around DVa, Bap or Brig since they are very cheerful and fun to be around

They play videogames together (Im sure DVa owns a retro game collection so they play wii sports or guitar hero or smth)

Eats burger with knife and fork and gets laughed at for it

Good cook! Likes veggies :)

Dont look at the state of the kitchen after he is done though

Not the most organized or tidiest person, proud owner of a clothing pile in the corner of his room

That clothing pile is Mitzi's favourite spot

Honestly I see him having his hammock hung up over his normal bed. And he uses the bed as a couch or storage room even when Winston offered him multiple times to take it out of the room.

When you visit his room you just hear "oh wait I'll make some space" and the noise of a bunch of stuff being "moved" to the floor before he offers you to sit on the bed

One of the people you'd hear roaming through the base at 2am looking for food or his guitar he left somewhere

At the same time very concerned about other people's sleep schedule (DVa will not know peace)

Responsible for the music playing during helicarrier flights, master of the aux cord

Custom mixtapes based on destination (he takes it very serious)

Has playlists set up for each Overwatch Agent and carefully builds them up as he tries to figure out everyone's music taste

this started because Reinhardt asked him about David Hasselhoff

not everyone knows about their playlists yet, Lucio himself decides when the time is right to solemnly present it

[overwatchfics]

D.VA, Ashe and Kiriko with a fem s/o who is insecure about her short height and small chest? 🐇 thank you!

Short Flat S/O - Kiriko, Ashe, and Dva

A/N: Why do I feel like I know you, show yourself.

CW: Suggestive, slightly nsfw

D.va

So I found out recently that Hana is actually 5'6... yeah.

Man, actually doesn't even tease which is surprising since she'll find other things to tease you about, but never your height and especially not your chest (she's really not one to say much in that department)

Suprise hugs you can bet on. She practically tackles you and nuzzles into the crook of your neck giggling.

She likes you being short it makes her feel powerful, and maybe a lil protective, but it's a good thing I swear!

If Hana is teaching you to shoot, it makes it easier for her, she'll steady you with her hands on your hips and correcting your stance.

she's part of the Korean army so stfu she's not just an UWU gamer girl.

will explode when she puts her fatigues blouse on you and seeing the sleeves droop.

Hana is pretty damn strong, best girl to go to concerts with bc she'll hoist you on her back or on her shoulders fr.

BIG SPOON HANA RIGHTS.

If you're openly insecure about your breasts, she is pulling off your shirt and leaving kisses on them. She loves and appreciates them.

she will not let you shame yourself in front of her.

Kiriko

Kiriko doesn't really have much there (regardless of what r34 artists like to draw)

Never going to judge you, she'll make jokes about sharing bras but that's as far as it goes.

Your height though. She's a damn menace.

OH IF SHE SEES YOU IN HER CLOTHES SHE WILL PAUSE AND SECONDS LATER YOUR ASS IN DINNER FR

NSFW IDEA SHE EATS YOU OUT SHE EATS YOU OUT WHILE YOU'RE IN HER HOODIE

Picking you up, wrapping her arms around you from behind and using your head as a rest for her chin.

Is the type of person to wake up in the morning and have you wrapped around her front with your arms and legs around Kiriko's torso.

She'll just casually be brushing her teeth with one hand and hold you by the behind with the other as you're still napping in the crook of her neck.

Lap sitting casually 100%

You are her body pillow she clings to you alot in her sleep

Will put stuff on high shelves simply so you ask her for help.

If she sees you trying, she'll grab you by the hips and lift you up.

For your breasts she'll licking and sucking on your nipples no questions. She will get a non toxic red marker and draw lil hearts on them.

Ashe

Has enough boobage for the two of you, but really doesn't care about boob size.

Height however, Ashe is surprisingly fair about.

If you really want to be taller, she'll take you out to get a stylized pair of cowhide leather boots.

Or have you sitting on top of Bob's shoulder.

Likes having you in her lap while she does office work

100% holds you against her and wraps your legs around herself and cradles you in her arms.

Smothers your face in kisses if you try to shame yourself.

If you try to hide your chest, she'll gently pry your wrists away and kiss and lick your breasts, maybe even traces on with her fingers.

I love all of you sugar, there's no need to hide

If you wear Ashe's stuff that motivates her to buy you a matching outfit with her.

Bob is also mildly interested in your tiny stature so his heart will be so warmed if you let him place his bowler vest and hat on you.

Please let bob do this, he deserves happiness.

A/N: my hand is finally healed so I can write now. Pumping these out holy crap.

[wildissylupus]

Blinks at you with eyes SO wide

More Cassidy headcanons and/or Bapissidy content please...if you're up for it of course

I'm honest to god running out of Cassidy head canons so your going to get Bapssidy head canons.

While Pharah is the first person to figure out that Baptiste likes Cassidy, Angela is the first to figure it out that Cassidy likes Baptiste. She proceeded to tease him and then proceeded to become his wing women.

Since both of them have been in a few relationships before they started dating they are both rather casual about things, like first kiss and first date were just a very chill situation for them.

They both like sharing food and different recipes from their childhoods, though Cassidy is the better cook of the two.

They both get really bad nightmares so more often then not one of them will wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to sleep, they both try and not wake the other up but it always fails for both of them.

When sleeping they don't really cuddle? They more just...star fish on top of each other.

One time before they started dating and after a long mission, Cassidy ended up sleeping and falling onto Baptists shoulder. Bap proceeded to not move for the entire ride back to Gibraltar, Genji has a photo of this and has shown it to Fareeha and Angela.

They aren't big on PDA but the one thing they constantly do is hold hands, other than that their more intimate moments are more in private. The only exception is either after a long distance mission or after one of them does something life threateningly stupid.

They both make fun of Talon on missions, especially Reaper, Cassidy has talked mad shit on Reyes and they both use that to mess with him.

DVA has called them both "Dad" at some point, sometimes it's on accident, sometimes it's for a joke.

Cassidy usually wakes up hours before Baptiste (he's a farm boy at heart so he wakes up ungodly early) so usually if it's a quiet day Cassidy would make them both breakfast.

Baptiste absolutely loves how dramatic Cassidy can be sometimes, however he's also one of the only people who can tell when he's being dramatic and when he's being serious.

Neither of them let the other live down how they first met, Baptiste always reminds Cassidy that he punched him in the face, Cassidy always reminds Baptiste that he thought it was a good idea to sneak up on the ex-Blackwatch second in command using Talon tactics.

Baptiste takes Cassidy to his home in Haiti during the holidays and Cassidy loves it there. He loves the sense of community, the weather, everything, he was also introduced to Roseline and now Cassidy helps send back money to the clinic there.

[coffeestainedcamera]

DVa getting nerfed prob makes sense bc I keep stomping people as a filthy casual. Like, infinite ammo, lots of armor, the 2nd chance via pilot mode, the block move, mobility via the boost move, and that ult def are a lethal combo. And unless I'm against Zarya, it feels like I can just not give a f.

But man, will I miss this meta.

[diverbots]

could we get a master list of zenyatta headcanons (or honestly whatever comes to mind first) (maybe this is a repetitive ask. if so, I beg for your forgiveness, king)

It's alright don't worry, anyone can send as many asks as they'd like, I'm just slow to reply sometimes. As for Zenyatta headcanons I'm drawing a blank on a lot of them (it's 12 AM here and I have to drive my friend to work in the morning lulz) but here's some off the top of my head:

Zenny is almost at Dva's skill level in terms of gaming but he's very casual about it - he likes the competition! You could argue it's cause he's an omnic that he learns so fast and is "naturally good", but he personally wants to separate himself from that, and just let loose and play like how anyone else would. He also likes the community aspect of gaming and hearing how much love people put into just creating something fun and engaging to connect with other people. He likes to 100% complete games as well.

Zenyatta hates juggling because he can't actually do it. The amount of skill required for it sucks, and whenever he attempts he accidentally brings out one of his transcendence arms out of habit and messes it all up. Whenever he tries to fake it, it looks horrendously bad and he's just stopped doing it altogether to prevent further embarrassment (Ramattra was the one who made fun of him for it) He's a bigger fan of just spinning his orbs in his hands - or just yo-yos.

I'm still thinking over this (PVE will probably confirm or deny) but Zenyatta got his name from Mondatta when he entered the Shambali (if they happened to have the same name when they met though that'd be fucking funny cause I'd imagine Mondatta literally lighting up when he hears another omnic has a matching name as him. Ramattra gives him a side-eye cause he was *this* close to being named Zenyatta if he didn't come up with his own name. Instant baby brother). He was nameless prior to it, and it upsets him sometimes that he couldn't have given himself a name.

Zenyatta may have been the one to push Ram on the ideas of achieving justice for omnics, though it obviously didn't go very well and it ended up in a heated debate between Ram and Datta when Ram brought it up, which caused Ram to leave. It made Mondatta very upset to lose someone so close, and Zenyatta felt partially responsible for it.

This is already somewhat established in canon but I think he's very reluctant on opening up about himself and showing his own grieving process to the point where he'd just avoid thinking about them altogether. This may just be an issue with Zenyatta having very little lore for years in general, but yeah, having Ramattra leave and hearing about Mondatta's death (imo the two support beacons in his life, the two who had MUCH clearer goals than he does) just shattered him and now he's doesn't really know his own purpose. (It's probably why he won't tell anyone about what he did prior to the crisis, the only person I see him talking about it with is Mondatta and it's very barebones.)

[owlwithanapple]

The Archer.

Part 05

Hanzo Shimada x Y/N

Thanks to the sleep last night, you are naturally in a good mood when you get up early today. You got up and walked to the desk looked at the note left by Hanzo last night. You looked at it several times thought his little move was very sweet. You take the thermos bottle and leave the room to look for Hanzo.

"Someone is in a good mood, Y/N." Mercy and Dva said.

"Well, good morning both of you. Oh, by the way, have you seen Hanzo? " You say.

"He should be at the training ground. Do you have anything to do with him?" Mercy is curious.

"I want to return his thermos bottle and thank him for helping me pack your handmade cookies yesterday. Otherwise, I'll be sorry if I miss it. " You tell Mercy.

"Ah! That cookie!" Mercy was surprised.

"Really? Y/N!" Dva was surprised.

"Yes, why do you two shout?" You are curious.

"It's okay, it's okay." Mercy said.

"Go and find Hanzo!" Dva said.

"Okay, goodbye." You leave.

"I thought it was Hanzo who wanted to eat it. It turned out to be packaged for Y/N." Mercy was surprised.

"No wonder he said he was sleepy and left first. So that's what happened." Dva said.

"Will Hanzo fall in love with Y/N? Then he didn't notice it himself. " Mercy is curious.

"Maybe. But Hanzo once said that there was no need to fall in love. " Dva said.

"Maybe it's really coming this time~" Mercy said excitedly.

When you go to the training ground, you see Hanzo pulling the bow. You walked quietly behind him to scare him. When your hand was about to touch his shoulder, he turned around and grabbed your hand to pull you closer. You two looked directly at each other face to face. After Hanzo noticed you, he didn't let go directly.

"You are always like this... You can't learn well." Hanzo said.

"I want to surprise you." You said it mischiessly.

"Really..." Hanzo let go of his hand.

"Thank you for the tea and biscuits last night." You say.

"Nothing." Hanzo said.

"Hanzo, are you worried about me?" You asked curiously.

"No." Hanzo said.

"What about yesterday's note?" You said with a smile.

"I just wrote it casually." Hanzo said.

"Hanzo, you are so dishonest." You say.

"You..." Hanzo said.

Hanzo sighed and reached out his hand to stroked your hair. You were surprised. He not only stroked your hair, but you also saw his smile. Although it was just a slight smile, you also smiled when you saw it. Obviously, he just stroked your hair but it seemed that he was making you laugh. At this time, you heard someone interrupt you.

"It's so sweet early in the morning." Lucio said with a laugh.

"Good morning, brother, Y/N." Genji said.

"Are we bothering you?" Lucio is curious.

"It's okay." Hanzo turned around and continued to practice arrows.

"You and brother...?" Genji is curious.

"I'm here to return your brother's thermos bottle. Goodbye." You leave.

"Brother, you are so sweet." Genji said.

"What on earth are you trying to say?" Hanzo asked.

"You are particularly gentle with Y/N." Genji said.

"It's okay. She's a friend." Hanzo explained.

"Okay, but brother, Y/N is special to you." Genji said.

"I don't understand what you're talking about. Do you want to train together?" Hanzo asked.

"No problem." Genji said.

When you go to the medical room and put on your coat to prepare for work, there is a knock outside the door.

"Please come in." You say.

When the door opens, you see Ana standing at the door and smiling at you.

"Hello Y/N, Reinhardt has caused you trouble, right?" Ana said.

"It's nothing. It's just a small matter." You say.

"Thank you. I'm not with him that time ,he just messed around like this. Fortunately, you found it, otherwise he would be injured again. " Ana sighed.

"Hahaha, that's who he is. The most important thing is that you don't dislike him. " You say.

"Hahaha, what are you talking about, Y/N?" Ana said with a laugh.

"I won't say more~" you said.

"I won't bother you. Goodbye." Ana left.

You got up and left the medical room and walked to the ward. You saw Cassidy sitting on the bed.

"Hey, cowboy. It seems that the injury has recovered. " You say.

"Hahaha, thanks to your treatment. Otherwise, my life will be gone. If don't move my body I feel uncomfortable all over. " Cassidy said.

"My job is to treat." You say.

"I heard that Genji's brother also joined in. How about him?" Cassidy is curious.

"That's good. He just doesn't talk much. He is a very calm person with superb bow shooting skills. " You say.

"It seems to be very strong from what you said." Cassidy said.

"When you're ready, you can compete with him again." You say.

"That's right, you still owe me an answer." Cassidy said.

"What's the answer?" You are curious.

"Before I go on a mission, I confess to you. You haven't given me an answer yet." Cassidy said.

"Oh... That one." You whispered.

"Can I know the answer?" Cassidy is looking at you.

"I'm sorry Cassidy. I don't want to start a relationship yet. " You look at him.

"I see. Thank you for telling me the answer directly. You always don't talk about your relationship, but I believe that person is more important to you. " Cassidy said.

"Although he has passed away, I simply can't forget him. I'll leave first. Take care of yourself and don't mess around. " You looked at Cassidy with tears in your eyes.

"No problem, you too. If you need comfort, you know I'm here. " Cassidy said with a laugh.

"Haha, sweet..." You leave.

You have an unforgettable relationship, although that person has passed away. You leave the ward stand outside the door and sigh. You and Cassidy are very good friends , don't know when he fell in love with you. Just before he set out on the mission, he confessed to you affectionately until now you refuse him.

"Damn, I want to cry." You whispered.

"Are you all right?" Mei asked.

"Ah! I'm fine. Are you hurt? " You said with a smile.

"I saw you standing here and I said a few greetings to you, and then I saw you in tears..." Mei said.

"Nothing, it's just a small matter. I'll go to work first. See you later." You waved away.

"Oh...okay" Mei stood still.

When Mei arrived at the training ground and saw Lucio with Dva , she immediately told them what had happened.

"Ah! Y/N crying?! Which bastard bullied my Y/N!" Dva rolled up her sleeves and said.

"I don't know either... she didn't say anything when I asked her. " Mei said.

"What's the matter?" Genji asked.

"Y/N. When I was standing in the corridor, I saw her crying. " Mei said

"Is she all right? Will she do something stupid? " Lucio asked.

"She is very rational. I'm sure she won't do anything stupid. Or send someone to ask her?" Dva said

Everyone looked at Hanzo...

"Do you want me to go?" Hanzo is curious.

"Please~, maybe Y/N is willing to tell you." Dva and Lucio said.

"Don't expect too much from me." Hanzo left.

"Does he mean that he will help us?" Mei is curious.

"That's right..." Genji replied.

Hanzo quickly left the training ground to find your trace. The moment he heard Mei say that you were crying, he was very uneasy. He went to the medical room and didn't find you. He wondered where you were. It seems that there is no shadow of you in the place where you are, as if you have disappeared. He looked around in a panic, The first time you were not in his sight make him afraid.Since he met you, he wants to protect you. He doesn't want to lose important people anymore. Once he lost his brother, which made him feel afraid. If you disappeared he really didn't know what to do.

Hanzo stood still and thought, he felt someone approaching behind him. He is very familiar with this silent feeling, which is your habit often appearing behind him. He was sure that you were behind him, he did not hesitate to turn around and hold you tightly.

"Hanzo, what's wrong?" You ask in a low voice.

"I'm fine. You scared me. Just let me stay for a while. " Hanzo whispered in your ear.

You feel that Hanzo's hands keep shaking, as if he were greatly frightened. You hug him back and gently brush his back with the other hand to comfort him. You know that Hanzo is an unsmiling person who is always serious, but he will also be afraid of losing. Although you don't know what he is, now you know the other side of the man in front of you.

The first time you meet him, he gives you the feeling that he is very alert and will automatically alienate you. But he didn't. He would take the initiative to approach you or appear beside you. Now that you two are hugging each other, you know that he is so close to you.

How long has it been since you were held tightly in other people's arms? Thinking of what happened just now, you can't help crying, but you don't want Hanzo to worry, so you put up with it. You close your eyes and indulge in his arms and enjoy the warm time he brings you. After you joined Overwatch, you haven't felt so warm and secure for a long time.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" Hanzo said in your ear.

"Do you want to hear my story?" You say.

"I want it. Tell me." Hanzo said.

"Oh, okay. But let's talk about it in the evening. It's working hours now. " You say.

"I know..." Hanzo said.

"Thank you, Hanzo." You let go of your hand carefully.

"You're welcome, Y/N." He gently let go of you.

After you two separated, you smiled at Hanzo. At this moment, he is very sure that you will tell him what happened. He left a goodbye and turned around left you alone in place. You sighed and looked at his back, you were unconsciously at ease. Because he is by your side.

Part 05 The End.

To Be Continued…..

*If you have any ideas, you can leave them in the comment section, and I will try to add in the story.*

[a-bluedream-posts]

Dva-workout by RmumuSketch

[intheshadowofwar]

2 July 2023

The Death Drill

Amiens 2 July 2023

We must return again to the Hindenberg Line.

I mentioned earlier that the Hindenberg Line was eventually cracked. We’re still not there yet - that’ll be a discussion for tomorrow. I have, in fact, been very deliberate in waiting for that moment. As I mentioned on the 28th, the Hindenburg Line was a perfect defensive position, and one that the Allies encountered with some surprise during the Arras offensive. It did not blunt British ambitions - it simply couldn’t be allowed to. To the south, on the Chemin des Dames, General Robert Nivelle’s French offensive was drowning in blood, and Haig had to try and keep the pressure off of them. The Line would have to be attacked. Thus, the tragedy of Bullecourt.

Bullecourt - and given the black humour of the Tommies and the Diggers, I’m surprised it was never corrupted into ‘Bullet Court’ - was to be attacked by Hubert Gough’s Fifth Army in a novel way. There would be no preparatory barrage. The 4th Australian Division would attack by surprise with the support of tanks. In the event, when the attack was launched on the 11th of April 1917, barely any tanks arrived - they almost all broken down, and the few lumbering beasts that made it to the starting point were soon knocked out. Worse, the loud engines alerted the Germans. The Australians advanced into a funnel, covered on all sides by interlocking fire - some positions were taken but then lost by a fierce German counterattack. Three thousand men became casualties, and more men were taken prisoner here than in any other Australian battle. To add one final insult to injury, Gough, convincing himself that he had an exploitable breakthrough, sent an Indian cavalry brigade into the killing field, causing yet more useless deaths.

Something changed in the AIF after First Bullecourt. Gough’s reputation with them never recovered (and indeed, he was despised by pretty much everybody who had the misfortune of being under his command), even though some of the blame for the catastrophe should also be laid at the feet of Birdwood and some of the battalion and brigade commanders. The Australians would take a long time to trust tanks again, but in particular, a large part of the AIF lost faith in the old British Army. Most of this loss of faith was directed towards the generals and the staff, but Bill Gammage’s seminal work The Broken Years indicates that a great many men lost their respect for the ordinary Tommy too. The British, it was said, had let them down; they had no stomach, they couldn’t fight, they’d left the Australians in the lurch. (In fact, poor staff work had led the British 62nd Division to attack too early, with predictably bloody results.) I remember reading Gammage’s book a while ago, and some of the accounts felt like a few Diggers would have rather dug their bayonet into a British Tommy than a German soldier. Always be suspicious when you hear people talking about the brotherhood between allies.

(The British stereotype of the Australians was that they were overpaid and underdisciplined, and that they had everything you could ever want but still moaned about it, so lets not pretend this doesn’t go both ways.)

That tragic field of Bullecourt was our first stop of the day. None of the Australian divisions chose here to be their memorial, for reasons that are probably obvious, but a memorial was put in place to the battle in the 1990s. It depicts a Digger on a cairn, starting out towards the battlefront and the site of the Hindenburg Line. He looks almost casual, wearing his slouch hat with his rifle slung over his shoulder - yet there’s a somber weariness to his features. I don’t think there was any deep meaning to this figure when it was sculptured - more likely the DVA just said ‘STATUE PLEASE’ - so it’s interesting how the mind invents them when looking at statues like this.

We carried on from Bullecourt to Peronne, where the memorial to the 2nd Division stands on the slopes of Mont St. Quentin. It was here that the 2nd Division seized the heights from the Germans and held it in the face of several ferocious counterattacks, an achievement Fourth Army General Sir Henry Rawlinson believed was the ‘greatest military achievement of the war.’ (I actually disagree with Rawlinson on this, but that’s another thing to be discussed tomorrow.) The 2nd Division’s memorial is actually a replacement - the original might have been the most ‘metal’ of Australia’s war memorials, depiciting a soldier thrusting his bayonet into a Prussian eagle. When the Nazis came through in 1940, they spared most other war memorials - but they destroyed this one. It was replaced in the 1970s with a soldier looking down in thought. It’d diplomatic, and probably more appropriate - but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a sneaky desire to see the old one.

We continued into Peronne, and after lunch went into the Historiale de la Grand Guerre - the Museum of the Great War. This has been built up for me for years, the brainchild of Annette Becker and our spiritual liege Jay Winter. They are, of course, no longer with the museum as far as I know. I think this may be to it’s detriment, because the main feeling I felt here was a sense of disappointment.

This museum is still worth visiting, and I don’t know if it would ever have lived up to my expectations. Laying the uniforms and equipment at the viewer’s feet, as if laying in state, is not only artistically genius but surprisingly practical in allowing you to actually see what these artifacts are. There’s a whole section on the work of Otto Dix, a soldier who made print art of his experiences after the war. I won’t include any photos of these pictures, because while Dix’ works are amazing and everyone should see them, they are also, pardon my French, fucking horrifying.(The Nazis, being big on the whole war as national regeneration thing, banned them.) It does its best to cover as many perspectives on the war as possible, and while the pacifist bent here is obvious, it doesn’t get in the way of being a museum too much.

That’s a bit of a shame, though, because it’s the ‘being a museum’ category that causes it to fall down for me. There are so many errors that somebody really ought to have caught - a tunic of the Leicestershire Regiment is mislabelled as a Coldstream Guards tunic, which would be forgivable were it not for the giant ‘Leicestershire’ badges on the collar, clearly visible to the public. A tunic is described as belonging to a ‘Captain’ in the ‘Derbyshires’ - not only does it belong to a Lieutenant, there was no Derbyshire Regiment. That region was covered by the Sherwood Foresters. I’m sure this all sounds like rivet counting, but these are errors that are easily noticeable and easily corrected, and they’re in the first room. If they’re making basic factual errors in the first section of the museum, why should I, as a member of the public, trust what they say in the next? (And before someone asks if they simply mistranslated the name of the rank, lieutenant is a French word. The word for lieutenant in French is lieutenant. I don’t know how a museum of war could make this mistake.)

This annoyed me, but what got me really cross was a placard about the Hundred Days Offensives at the end of the war.

‘Without suffering any great defeat, the German Army was forced…’

Hold on, what?! Not only did the German Army suffer a great defeat, it suffered nothing but great defeats. What about Second Marne? Amiens? The St Quentin Canal, the Canal du Nord, the Meuse-Argonne Offensive? The Germans were defeated decisively and consistently on the field of battle, and I know a museum with a pacifist bent probably doesn’t want to throw around words like ‘victory’ in relation to war, when it comes to the Hundred Days, you have two choices. You have the history or the myth. The history was that Germany was decisively defeated. The myth was that it wasn’t. The myth is that the war was ended by the civilians - the socialists - while Germany was still capable of fighting. The myth is that Germany was betrayed by the socialists - and their perceived masters.

This is the genesis of the stab-in-the-back theory, one of the first steps on the road to the Holocaust. I know they didn’t intend for it to look like this, but that is what it looks like. You don’t have to necessarily say the Allies won, but you absolutely do have to say the Germans lost, and lost decisively. We cannot allow any academic or popular wriggle room for this antisemtic theory. (And for the record, I think you absolutely can emphasise this from a pacifist perspective. Talk about the suffering inflicted by the naval blockade, or the casualties of the Hundred Days. Just… don’t repeat antisemitic talking points.)

Sorry, I got a little bit angry there. Let’s talk about something a little more humorous - the cognitive dissonance one experiences when they leave this museum, Dix’ paintings still on their mind, and walk into a gift shop that’s selling faux-LEGO tanks, plastic helmets and poor quality hoodies with little Anzacs and Poilus shaking hands on them. It’s something of a mental whiplash, like I felt when I went into Rise of Skywalker expecting to have fun and then didn’t.

We went from there to Delville Wood, where the South African National Memorial is - a great shock, as I wasn’t aware they had one at all. The South Africans today are most known for fighting in East and Central Africa, particularly the running guerilla war with von Lettow-Vorbeck (in which 80% of their black African labourers got malaria and died.) Yet they did send a few battalions - all white men, of course - to the Western Front, where they suffered greatly in battles around here. The beautiful and sinister at the same time. For the most part, it looks a lot like you’d expect a First World War memorial to look - white stone, lists of the missing, inscriptions of battles - but over the arch in the centre is a message to all visitors - ‘Their ideal is our legacy. Their sacrifice is our inspiration.’

It seems a bit generic, but in the context of the Apatheid South Africa that raised this memorial, it’s downright chilling. What ideal are they talking about? We can’t exactly change the meaning of it - it’s ‘their’ ideal, not ours. For the first time, I found the white wall of the missing, amplified by the afternoon sun, to be deeply uncomfortable.

On a more positive note, the site has a small museum - and it’s free! If the memorial hasn’t been updated since the end of Aparteid, at least the museum has, with a frank discussion of the service and suffering of black South Africans during the First World War alongside the typical histories of battles and kit. What particularly stood out to me was the account of the sinking of the SS Mendi in a collision off the Isle of Wight, carrying black labourers to Europe. Oral tradition preserves the last speech of Reverend Wauchope Dyobha on the deck of the sinking ship. This was reproduced at the museum, and I’ll give you an excerpt.

“Brothers, we are drilling the death drill. I, a Xhosa, say you are my brothers. Swazis, Pondos, Basutos, we die like brothers. We are the sons of Africa. Raise your war cries, brothers, for though they made us leave our assegais in the kraal, our voices are left with our bodies.”

824 labourers were aboard the Mendi. Over 600 were lost to the sea. Reverend Dyobha was among them. They lived as servants of an uncaring empire, but I like to think they died as free men.

We carried on from there to Amiens, where I now have a glorious view of it’s beautiful concrete bus station. I saw a few memorials on my way to grab dinner, and I’ll try to take my camera out to get some pictures tomorrow evening if I have time, but I can’t promise anything. For tomorrow, we go to Villers-Bretennaux.

We’ve seen the tasteful ways Canada and South Africa use the spaces around their memorials. Surely, Australia would be just as tasteful, right?

Right?

[yumeblue]

okay wait too like. when artists draw casual dva in like super cutesy outfits its so ooc to me like of course people want to characterize her that way but i know for certain shes a korean woman entering her 20s who spends all her time working on mechs or shes in public as an idol she is going to wear oversized tshirts and airport fits sorry

[aftonfamilyvalues]

https://twitter.com/donutcherub/status/1598108142029897729?s=46&t=1_yCwE4gPNt2A1B7eQ6n-Q

HELPPP what is this…… like, the new outfits being shown aren’t even really Masculine…. they are just more practical and/or casual. this is such a stupid fucking take

men are so fucking weak. princess peachs outfit is based on a biker suit she wears in an actual game. bo peep is wearing the same underclothing she wore under the dress in previous movies, the bottom half of the dress is turned inside out and into a cloak because of her life as a free and ownerless toy means she has to repair and repurpose things. dva is still wearing her bodysuit but with a hat, jacket, and gloves because she is doing maintenance on her mech. that tawna bandicoot is also an alternate universe version of herself. that universe is completely different, dr nefarious tropy is a woman and has successfully killed crash and coco (because women can do anything). they dont look anything remotely alike because by all means theyre different characters.

op is also whining about how he got called homophobic slurs for liking princess peach as a child and then shows us a picture of his merch shelf where he has a figure of her in the same outfit hes complaining about lmaooo

anyway, why dont all these men swap into dresses and skirts when theyre fighting? i mean, if those types of clothing dare the ones they want to see badasses fighting in then by all means why dont men start wearing frilly pink dresses to fights?

[lichotnyubeznik]

Štěstí: Triptich o čtyřech obrazech a osmi dějstvích

Rozhodli jste se jít z recepce pěšky spolu, ty a ten vysoký, hubeňoučký plavý Fin. Je to hezounek, učiněný krasavec, a přitom vyzařuje naivitu a nepoučenost, bez kterých by byl nepochybně nesnesitelným. Posledních deset let tráví na pomalém kariérním žebříčku finské diplomacie, z Moskvy se propracoval do New Yorku, kde strávil několik roků, teď žije v San Francisku. "Člověk velkých měst!" zažertuje sebeironicky, ale já nevím, k čemu se ta ironie vztahuje. Připomíná ti dávného známého zpoza oceánu, vysoký, hubený krasavec ve službách státní správy...

Z recepce, která se konala na stadionu, by vás ty dva bloky zpátky do hotelu popovezl přistavený autobus, ale chtěli jste na vzduch, navíc jste aspoň setřásli tu otravnou bulharskou profesorku - za mlada mohla být bohémkou, teď je jen stárnoucí snobkou. Jseš rád, že to tak dopadlo, že jdeš s tím největším krasavcem.

Možná že i ty sám jseš tentokrát za krasavce: kvůli požadavkům na odívání jsi si poprvé v životě pořídil business casual, netušil jsi do nedávna, co to přesně znamená, googloval jsi, co se ještě hodí, a co už ne, prohlížel fotky modelů a nakonec se shlédl v jednom androgynním Asiatovi s oblekovými tříčtvrťáky a letní rozhalenkou, v pánské konfekci jsi se snažil strefit do jeho střihu. Koupil jsi si i nové tenisky, ty do business casual zapadají, ale musí být neošoupané, nicméně v těch svých chodíš už tři čtvrtě roku. nacházíš na amazonu new balancy, které jsi si chtěl už drahnou chvíli koupit, amazon ti je však nestíhá dodat včas, necháváš si je poslat do hotelu. Kupuješ si i pásek, je moc velký, nosíš ho kolem pasu jen pro parádu, kalhoty ti drží na pase zapnutý knoflík. Tváří v tvář akademikům ti to ale přijde jako overkill, však považte, co nosejí akademici, je to cosi mezi profesorským oblekem a outdoorem, přijdeš si skoro až moc dandy, oblek a tenisky, přijdeš si vyhrocenej jak Rusák, ale rozhodneš se na vlastní hru přistoupit a pro jistotu se výrazně navoníš, víš, že vyčníváš, máš výrazné tetování, ale postupně do svého kostýmu dorůstáš.

Kráčíte nočním koloradským maloměstem po chodníku, malé hloučky akademiků, jdeš s Finem a povídáte si o Americe. Hotel je postaven jako velké, vysoké atrium, klasický Hilton, funguje jen jeden výtah, tvoří se u něho nekonečné fronty, jdete se s Finem zeptat, jestli tu nemají ještě jiné výtahy, mladičká a silně nalíčená, ne však nehezká Koloraďanka, potomkyně kovbojů a německých imigrantů, si vás změří pohledem, vaši módní přehlídku, a navrhne vám, že vás sveze služebním výtahem. provede vás celou frontou na výtah, kamsi dozadu, s Finem vystupujete každý v jiném patře, vlastně nevíš, s kým z vás chtěla jet recepční víc, usilovně ti přeje dobrou noc, odjíždí s Finem do šestého.

***

Cesta letadlem přes půl země, z Nové Anglie na Jihozápad, vstávání před pátou, poslední dobou už jsi na tohle zvyklý, cestuješ teď pořád, levné hotely, půjčená auta. Po přistání v Denveru se dívky před tebou začnou nezměrně radovat. "He passed" - anebo it passed? 81%. Zvedají se a mávají na někoho vzdau přes vaše hlavy, vysokoškolačky, říkáš si, asi zkoušky, nebo možná někdo z rodiny? Jihozápaďanky, silně nalíčené blondýnky, ne nehezké, jedna je trochu tlustší, ta se ti líbí víc, mezerou mezi sedačkami vidíš, jak ťukají zběsile do sociálek, "everyone's watching it right now," říkají, "it's great day to be SWA FA" píšou, ze zvědavosti to googluješ, aha, Southwestern Airlines Flight Attendants, čteš, měsíc stará zpráva, vyjednávání odborů, chtěli vyšší platy, aha, říkáš si, dívky se právě dozvěděly, že jim zvednou platy, radují se díky svým odborovým předákům, večer to určitě oslaví, můžou být šťastné, protože realizují svoji politickou sílu ve světě a svět se jim podle toho přizpůsobuje a ustupuje, tyto dvě blonďaté koloradské letušky co budou mít maximálně maturitu.

Tak takhle vypadá, když je někdo politicky šťastný, když ví, že má vliv na chod světa, vůbec ten pocit neznáš, nikdy jsi ho nezažil, zelení se nikdy nikam nedostali a celoživotně trpíš spíš pocitem, že ti někdo vládne, než že by někdy taky svět reagoval na tebe. závidíš těm dvěma letuškám, jsou pro tebe ztělesněním amerického mýtu o demokracii, jseš u vytržení a nemáš ani čas mít depresi.

***

Spolubydlící je tak cool, že víc cool spolubydlícího jsem si ani přát nemohl. Až za týden mi dojde, že je kulturista, navíc solidně potetovaný anime postavičkami, skrýval to pod mikinama. Pracuje na oddělení dětské psychologie. Bavíme se spolu o všem možném, zpravidla se před půlnocí setkáme v kuchyni a pak se spolu zapomeneme do jedný do rána a já jsem pak nevyspalý, ale aspoň si nepřijdu tak nemožně osamoceně. Párkrát mě chce vytáhnout na pivo nebo do klubu, ale já v té době zrovna šetřím nebo nemám náladu.

Povídá mi, jak žil v Thajsku. Vyznává se, že je nepochybně liberál, ale že ho hysterický antitrumpovský emoce už taky potom sraly. Občas se mě na něco zeptá, když neví. Uznale pokyvuje hlavou, že my, Evropani, všichni tak rozumíme zahraničnímu dění. Říkám mu svoje patálie - s bytnou, s bizarními lidmi, které vídám, naznačuju svoje pochyby o sobě a svém jednání, ale on stojí pevně nohama na zemi a klidným tónem uvádí věci na pravou míru, vidí do lidí.

První a druhý den objede autem všechny supermarkety a něco málo v každém nakoupí. Objede všechny kavárny a bistra (nebo jak nazvat fast foody, které nepatří žádnému řetězci). Nakonec - sám - obrazí řadu klubů, popravdě skoro všechny, které tu máme. Za týden objeví se svým věrným autem všechno, co jsem tu objevil během dvou semestrů, a nemá dále co objevovat. Tento americký kůň, který když chce, tak běží, a když nechce, tak zastaví, a když má hlad tak se nažere a když má žízeň tak se napojí a stejně to má se sraním a chcaním. Přál bych si být tímto mladým statným americkým nietzscheánským koňem.

---

Už jsem si zvykl, že nádobí meju spíš já, ale když jsem byl týden pryč, mohl ho aspoň po sobě mezitím umít. Zkraje vyjadřoval rozpaky, že jsem nádobí zas myl já, teď už mi jen chválí, že když ho myju já, vždycky líp voní.

Říkal mi, že někde v Číně věřej, že Krista ukřižovali tam u nich, na nějaké čínské Golgotě. Smějeme se tomu. Říká, že ani neví, kde se to mělo historicky stát. Říkám mu, že přece v Palestině. Jindy mi řekně, že na instagramovém videu viděl, že nedokážeme přesně zaměřit světlo a že to je mindfuck záhada. Vysvětlím mu, že to je asi sto let starý dilema, spočívající čistě v tom, že měřením měřené ovlivňujeme.

Nakonec mi řekně, že se odstěhuje o měsíc dřív, než co mi podepsal ve smlouvě. To je pro mě finanční rána, to znamená, že poslední nájem zatočím celý já. Bezelstně se mi chlubí, že našel byt s parádním výhledem. Dochází mi, že se stěhuje do bytu, kde jsem předloni bydlel já, což znamená jediné: mí bývalí spolubydlící, kteří se se mnou úplně přestali vídat, se stěhují pryč, zjevně dokončili doktoráty, a ani se mi to nenamáhali napsat, pozvat mě na zapití. Jsem rozčarovaný, nebavím se s ním asi tři dny, ale šikovně to skrývám, aby si nevšim, že ho nemůžu ani vidět. Ostatně máme dosti odlišné režimy, akorát jsem nás připravil o noční povídání v kuchyni. Potkám ho o víkendu. Začneme se bavit, je ze mě v rozpacích. Sere mě. Ale hned mu odpouštím, vlastně jsem rád, že se spolu zase bavíme (možná si ani nevšim, že se spolu nebavíme), říkám mu, jaký bylo moje běhání a on mě poslouchá a něchává mě vymluvit. V pozdějších dnech a týdnech naznačuje omluvu, asi mu dojde, že se mnou trochu vyjebal, říká, že mi sežene novýho spolubydlícího, ať v tom nezahučim, já nakonec chápu, že od něj bylo racionální, byť sobecké, vypadnout, "no hard feelings", říkám mu, i když už to mezi námi pak nikdy nebylo jako dřív, moje otcovská láska k němu zhořkla, ztěžkla.

***

Ale stejně se pak zase dřív nebo později do nějakýho krasavce a mládence platonicky zamiluješ a budeš toužit po jeho přátelství a po jeho mládí a po jeho životě a stát se jím.

Dokud se na sebe nepodíváš do zrcadla, jak si na hotelovém pokoji žehlíš olek. Taková životní zkušenost, taková finesa, říkáš si spokojeně sám se sebou, a pak tě napadne, že ti táhne na čtyřicet. Večer potkáš Fina. Je mladý, vysoký, štíhlý a krásný a baví se s tou nejzajímavější partou. Toužíš se k nim vetřít, ale jen osaměle kroužíš kolem. Nakonec zjistíš, že si nevolky přisedl k tvému stolu.

Celou dobu samozřejmě vyhlížíš, který akademičky by se daly zatáhnout na hotelový pokoj a ošukat. Vidíš to na Američanku nebo Litevku.

[qiyra]

I remember one time I was trying overwatch 2 and played a round of casual, some of my game sense was coming back to me, feeling good. Fragging noobs, all that. But I greatly overestimated the abilities of the other team (bc I played comp) and launched a dva ult into a choke to zone while we capped the point. Completely useless, but whatever we haven’t been off the cart and this is point two, I’ve been alive the whole time. Some dude comes on the mic and goes “that was the worst ult I’ve ever seen” and I got so mad I quit and uninstalled the game. Sorry that you’re too bad at team shooters to understand my plays but I’m too much of a winner to be playing with you

[spywitch]

I know wah wah some ppl are casual and they can play however they want but even as a casual player myself I don’t understand how someone can be an overwatch one trick, especially like a mercy one trick. Like I get BORED, I play almost all the heroes at least a little because I get bored of my mains, or because counterpicking.

And like I get it its not fun playing something you suck at but I feel like some ppl get in the game and barely give the other heroes a try. Like theres no shame in being bad, for quite some time when we first started my friends and I would just play against the bots. Like just do that, play some mystery heroes so you’re forced to try everything, and then you naturally find which ones you like and which you don’t. Like I don’t see how “uwu I’m bad” is an excuse to just play mercy and dva. Plenty of the other heroes also don’t require good aim or anything, just need a little practice… like I feel like you’re missing out playing a game with 4 thousand heroes and only playing one or two. When ppl flex about having like 4 minutes each on 15 different heroes its sad to me lmao

[zombijoux]

I love overwatch